Sometimes, I want to just pull over, under a bridge, in the middle of a horrid storm, park my car, sit, and bawl my eyes out.

My heart hurts. My heart hurts to bad and I'm so depressed and so upset and so wanting all of this to be over.

I can't believe what happened to me. It just seems so surreal. So innocent we all were. Kids wanting to have fun.

And now I can't get it off my mind. I can't forget about how I want it so bad. How I want to blow out my brian and make it bleed because I didn't get the chance to. I think I want it more now than ever because now I can't. I can't do anything. I can't even make a decision for myself.

I am not lying. I have considered bleeding out.

I can't do this anymore. I feel so low. So weak. And fucking powerless.