GOD DAMNIT.
I've honestly never thought of committing suicide ever in my entire life. Like I would say it jokingly and what not. But this time around, I am seriously considering it. I remember a month or two ago my parents and I got into a huge fight. A HUGE fight over my current legal issues that I am dealing with. And all I can remember from that night was how much I cried over it, and how if I had a gun, I would have done it. I swear to fucking God I would have done it. And I remember the day after I was released from my legal issues, how hard I cried and how again, if I had a fucking gun, I would not be here right now. I never thought in a million years this would happen to me, this horrible horrible life that I live. How could I have done this to myself and my family? Will I loose friends over this, and more importantly, it is worth taking my life over? I am strongly considering it. I wish I were joking like I usually am. I might loose a job offer because of the shit I did, and if I do..that night. I'm blowing my fucking brains out and I can't fucking wait.
