i wish things could go back to the way they used to be. like easier. less stress. less worry about self image and how fat you've gotten over the week.

i dont know how i feel today, but upset enough i guess to want to write some shit out so i can get it out instead of keeping it in; and i am not one of those fucks that posts about how sad they are all over facebook.

and its not due to me being single for over three months. i am enjoying that. its great, nothing  and no one holding me back from doing what ever the fuck i want. meeting who i want, nothing here for me, so getting out of here is my next step.

what is it with me. i am up one day and down the next. i cant get over anything. i sat in bed the other night thinking of shit i did forever ago, and like really? why. whyyy.

if i cant love myself then how the hell am i going to love anybody else. i think ive heard rupaul say that. heh.

in other news, i might kill myself, and i have recently fell in love with photography all over again.